Reclaiming Our Authentic Selves

Originally published April, 2023

In childhood, the most important relationship that we have is with our caregivers. When we are young, we depend on this relationship for our survival. This process is called attachment. It is through the process of attachment that we begin to learn about boundaries, trust, autonomy, taking action, and who we are in the world. If who we fundamentally are (“know-it-all,” sensitive, strong-willed, sassy, ) does not mesh well with our caregivers, we are forced to abandon our authentic selves to maintain the attachment. Early on, our lives depend on it.

So we stop asking questions. We stop sharing our knowledge. We turn off our tears. We toughen up. We stop advocating for ourselves. We lower our volume. To a whisper. Until we cannot hear ourselves anymore, and all we hear are the voices around us. We internalize those voices. We believe they tell us the truth about who we are. If we are spiritually gifted, we may suppress our gifts, believing that we are strange and do not belong. We forget that smart, empathic, empowered, witty, gifted little person. Our true authentic self.

But we can reclaim that little person. We can bring him or her back into our being. We can reparent ourselves and move forward with confidence knowing that who we were born to be is who we’re meant to be. Reclaiming our authentic selves is the key to unlocking our gifts. It is what liberates us to reach our highest potential.