Our Path to Peace

My ten-year-old and I participated in the Walk for Peace in Raleigh, North Carolina and attended the outdoor peace rally at the state capitol. It was cold and our hands were numb, even with gloves, but our hearts were warm and full of gratitude. To see so many people walking, and then huddling together, not out of fear or anger, but of a desire to keep each other warm and to hear messages of hope was a profound experience. 

The Venerable Bhikkhu Pannakara reminded us that our reality reflects what is inside each of us. Each breath, each step, each moment, is an opportunity to practice mindfulness, to let go of the thoughts that flood our mind and go into the heart space. To feel the life force energy flowing through each of us, and out to each other. Each day can be our peaceful day. 

When the venerable monks chanted their blessings at the end, we could feel the vibration of their voices reverberating in our chests as a wave of peace washed over us. We left knowing that peace is possible on this planet. But it starts within each of us. 

Since that day, I have been practicing mindfulness, focusing on the breath and my heart space when others around me become activated. The evening of the walk and rally, the boys’ dad became activated when our ten year old didn’t want to move the couch back. I took a couple of breaths and then said “I’m going to disengage” and walked back to my bedroom. That was it. It was like I put a pin in a balloon, and the activation was over. A couple of nights later, the boys got into a fight over a game they were playing. They each wanted to make the rules. The issue was over control. They were both screaming.. 

So I focused on my breath. In. Out. I focused on my heart space. As I did, I felt my nervous system begin to stabilize. I was deactivating myself in real time. I then went back to the bedroom, and extended my arm for the boys to follow me. They did. I have a king sized bed in my bedroom. We all sat on the bed. They continued to scream, and their dad came in to try to help, but he was activated too. Instead of getting angry at him, I felt compassion. It wasn’t so long ago that I cleared our ten year old’s desk. I told him “I’ve got it. You can go.”

I just kept breathing. In. Out. Focusing on my heart space. I calmly asked their dad to leave, and he did. Both boys then put their heads in my lap. I just kept breathing. In. Out. Focusing on the heart space. Their breathing began to match mine. They closed their eyes, and I cradled each of their heads in my hands. The little one then made a joke, and we all laughed. And then the older one told the younger one he was sorry, and the younger one told the older one he loved him. When the older one said “I love you too,” I knew it was over. I don’t know what the future holds. And that’s okay. Because with each breath, we have a path to peace.